The Magical World of Degravitania

My family is doing a Biggest Loser competition this fall in an attempt to promote healthy living. I was glad to participate, since every few months I try to lose big anyway. We are supposed to weigh in every week, but I haven't been able to get to a scale, since I haven't been to the gym in over a month. I finally got there yesterday and was very curious about how my weight was doing. I stepped up onto the doctor's-type scale and moved the weight over to 200. The arm dropped. So I moved the weight back to 150 and moved the smaller weight up to 50. The arm stayed up. So apparently I weigh somewhere between 200 and 200. But not 200 or 200. I went downstairs to the faculty weight room and the same thing happened. Luckily there was a normal bathroom scale next to it. I stepped on and the dial swung around to reveal my true weight--180. Now I was really pleased and surprised to see that, because I haven't been 180 since maybe seventh grade. Not joking.

So I figure that in order to find my actual weight, I need to travel to a mythical land. To get to Narnia, you must go through the wardrobe. To Wonderland, you go through the looking glass. To Oz, you go through a concussion. Maybe I found the passageway to Degravitania, the land where your weight disappears and then drops by 20 pounds. I will be charging for admission at the low price of 20 dollars. Just meet me outside the university gym. (Please note the twenty-pound-lighter Mr. Tumnus.)