The Rosie-Roo Challenge
At the hardest part of my mission, I was sent an angel to save me from my sadness. He came in the form of a 300-pound, bespectacled band geek with a name that he swears is pretty in
Swedish. His last name was Rosenlof, which apparently means "rose leaf." His name was particularly easy to lampoon, especially given his being large in stature and his meticulous, molasses way of doing things. After going through the normal nicknames that he had heard throughout his life, he told me that it had all been done. I took that challenge and spent the last year of my mission on special assignment: make up ridiculous nicknames for Elder Rosenlof.The unoriginals:
- Rosensloth
- Slowsensloth
- Rosenloaf
- Raisinloaf
The first time I made him laugh, while we walked in the scary area below the I-10:
- Oh, Elder Wovencloth.
When we caught him in a lie:
- Elder Mentirosenlof ("liar" in Spanish: mentiroso)
What caused him to say, "Oh no! That might catch on!":
- Elder Clovenhoof
When we realized he might have a heart attack after eating two helpings at Rocio's house:
- Elder Closinoff, first name, Arteries
What I would have called him if he had ever stepped in chicken noodle soup:
- Elder Toesinbroth
What I would have called him had he had a fight with some Catholic priests:
- Elder Foesincloth
What I would have called him had he ever tried to use the discount clothing store as his personal storage area:
- Elder StowsinRoss
I extend the challenge to all of you to help poor Rosie by coming up with some more original nicknames for him!
Hey, Rosie-Roo! I miss you!
posted by Limon @ 12:03 PM
15 comments
15 Comments:
Did you know they're not letting fat people go on missions anymore? Apparently there's a weight requirement now.
Well, if they wouldn't have let rosie go, I don't know what I would have done, so hopefully they still let people of his generous, yet graceful size go.
I think as long as they can ride a bike, there shouldn't be a problem, right? cuz boy, could he ride. I'll tell the story of his bike another day.
But bikes break, don't they? My brother had some heavy companions who broke several bikes...not that my brother didn't bust up a few bikes of his own, doing pop-a-wheelies and junk.
I feel so bad...there's a guy in my sister's ward who was told he would have to lose 30 pounds in order to go on a mission. He's tried to lose weight before, but never succeeded. He's been working at Walmart for years, saving his money all for his mission...and now they're told him he can't go unless he loses weight.
I don't know how I feel about this...
You know, I went out before they "raised the bar" on missionaries and having spent my teen years inactive, I can assume that were I to try and go now, I would not be permitted.
I have mixed feelings about the Church's decision to raise the bar, especially in the case of someone who is of a generous build, if you will.
I understand that the Church wants to have quality people representing it through out the world...but at the same time, were it not for my mission, I would not be the person I am today (and that's a scary thought, given what a deviant I currently am).
Does God think less of someone who's a little heavy? I think not. Now I understand health issues, but just a little extra baggage? That shouldn't stop a person from serving a mission...
I don't think it's all that recent, since 6 years ago while I was in the MTC one of the elders in my group was told he needed to lose a bit more weight or they would reassign him to stateside. I think it's just like a lot of other health concerns, where they don't want to be liable for someone having a heart attack out in the Peruvian jungle.
I would love to know any real specifics anyone has on the issue. Specific "overweightness" or when they made a change. I know that some very obese people were discouraged from going, but there were people in my mission pushing five-hundred pounds. I had about four or five obese companions and none of them ever had any trouble completing the work.
What I would call him if he had both hayfever and a penchant for handkerchiefs:
Elder Noseincloth.
If he had a problem with modesty:
Elder Showsenoff.
If the MTC police caught him writing on the sidewalk between the MTC and the temple (you know--through the athletic fields):
Elder Hosingoff.
If he got lost in a snowstorm while wearing excessive amounts of black:
Elder Frozengoth
Lemmy loo, you forgot the one that was one of the more common, yet descriptive ones--Rosenlate.
This is a pretty good one, hehehehe. I liked Showsenoff and Frozengoth, those were pretty good :) But how come it can't ever be like, "Knowsalot," or something cool along those lines? I vote that one for the coolest...
It's a good thing that I'm just big-boned and not fat, or else there's no way that I would have been able to go on a mission... Redlaw, I thought the same thing when I've heard some of the new requirements after the bar raising. I don't know where I would be spiritually or personally in my life if it hadn't been for my mission.
Anyway, thanks for all the great names. I'm looking forward to seeing if people can come up with some other good ones.
Oh, and if Limon is interested in telling the story of the Blue Beauty, I'll have to make sure that he tells it correctly. It's a pretty good story hahahahahaha :)
Is full of charity:
Doesnscoff
Has a strong testimony of Pres. Gordon B. Hinckley:
Lovestheproph
Is so hot:
Issohot
Has a great sense of humor
Lovestolof
How about Rosereta? :)
If he appears taller when wearing black: Growsingoth
If he wears black to do his gardening: Hoesingoth
If he goes on to do other yard work: Mowsingoth
If his sculling team uniform is black: Rowsingoth
If he likes to drop in to visit a lot, in a quick, breezy sort of way: Blowsinoft
If he likes to quote literature from a balcony: Proseinloft
If he takes a nap after that: Dozeinloft
.
Youe remember that guy Limon? Whatever happened to him?
I really appreciate all the entries. You certainly came up with some that I never thought of before. I appreciate the late entries by daltongirl.
I cannot decide on the winner of the competition. Oh, you didn't know? Of course there is a competition.
I'll have to let Rosie himself choose his favorite, though. So Rosie, have at you.
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