For the Record
I guess I never realized what a fuss this story would cause. I feel that I must, if just for the sake of clarity, state some things for the record.
Admissions:
I did not intend to offend anyone, especially not you, (insert name). I apologize if I hurt anyone's feelings, but not if I just challenged some opinions.
I do react poorly when girls ask me out, but I take full responsibility for my feelings and am in the process of working through this particular imperfection. I guess I thought that this would be inferred from the post.
The Woman is, beyond all doubt, a great girl whom I have been trying to decipher my feelings for, which, I am sure you can all agree, is one of the hardest parts of dating.
I shared the stories not to embarrass anyone, but just to give a good laugh to those who wished to read them. This is my humor. I regret to say that, if you wish to continue reading, you will most likely find more of the same. (Some cheer, some boo and hiss.)
In all honesty, I try very hard to be kind to girls more than I am nice to them. Sometimes, especially in this culture, we are too nice at the expense of real kindness. I don't think anyone who knows me would claim that I treat girls with anything but respect.
I am not offended by anything anyone has said. You have a right to your opinions, too.
I do not see the primary purpose of this blog as a place for recording important events, for delving deep into the inner psyche, or for championing important causes. It is primarily for comedic value. And blog space is practically limitless. So I am not too worried about wasting it.
I probably am a weiner. But that's okay for now. Some people really like weiners, especially now that the World Series is on.
Recommendations:
Please do not feel the need to comment anonymously. I do not believe in retaliation. But I do believe in taking responsibility for my opinions.
Please allow for imperfections to be stated, evaluated, and mused over.
Please understand sarcasm, exaggeration, and just plain comic make-believe.
Please laugh. It's a lot easier and a lot more healthy than fuming.
Please come back, if you wish!
posted by Limon @ 11:28 AM
11 comments
11 Comments:
Hooo-eeee! You stirred up a good one here lemmy-loo. hahahaha I enjoyed reading the posts, but the comments were just as good! This would probably be the time to tell Anonymous that you're the way you are because of that time, when as a child, you were kidnapped by a woman who asked you if you wanted to do her a favor and come with her and when you responded, "No, thank you" she took you anyway and forced you into two weeks of hard labor.
Remember that? I remember when you told me about that and I was just horrified. I thought, "Boy, later in life that'll definitely come back in the form of some repressed issue..." How can you be blamed?
I do have to say, though, that thanks to the fact that the best girl in the whole world asked me out we're now married. It can turn out well. Give it chance. Who knows, you might actually find something cool. If she's interested in you, she's definitely got good taste :)
I am jealous. I've been blogging for at least 3 times as long as you have and I haven't offended anyone yet! Apparently I don't have any over-50 sense-of-humorless readers.
Frankly, I find it apalling--not that people have been offended by your posts. I am apalled at the fact that they didn't laugh. They have some sort of gift, or a super power maybe. I used to think that I had a super-human bladder, as I didn't have to go to the bathroom much (very handy on long road trips). However, since reading your blog I have learned that I am losing bladder control in my old age. Perhaps some of your readers are learning that their senses of humor are fading as they age. It's always good to learn things about myself.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to use the bathroom.
Seriously, Limon. You've got talent. I've been blogging since June and I have NEVER caused a stir. Maybe I should write something about how I support scientific experimentation on animals or something.
Yo, I never left.
And honestly? As a girl? I was never offended.
(and the word verification was "xtuta," which sounds like a tribal name to me)
Although I can't say that you are a "nice guy" because you wouldn't even classify Bigrusslds as one, I do know that you are no jerk. There is plenty of proof that you try to be kind. Like the one time you courageously rescued two young women from a creepy, stoned, greasy, long-haired man that I swore was Lucifer. Well, that is the only time I can think of.
I will come back, Limon. Even if you manipulate a hundred girls into making you lasagni.
And Coop, who are you kidding? You stirred up a nice pot with that newsweek thing. Only people weren't offended with you for trying to be funny. That's the big difference, I guess.
Look how few comments you have today. If you expect to be able to start making money off your blog, you better start offending people again.
jrose: Thanks for bringing up such bad memories. I can always trust you to do that.
coop: I find many things fade with age: jeans, paintings, and senses of humorses.
cicada: I recommend extraterrestrial abuse. It's a hot topic and a loaded gun.
somebody's sister: are you anonymous? I am confused. Thanks for the name, if you are.
wcl: I sometimes wake up screaming about that guy. He really freaked me out.
dg: is lasagni the plural of lasagna? if so, I am definitely going to be using that.
dp: Ok. then . . . you're an idiot. Did that work?
Best line ever in a book: "Did he just say weiner? What a weiner."
Sorry I didn't get to read your offensive blog. But the first phone conversation was pretty funny. Why did she think you were a Russian? Hmm...
No, I am not "anonymous." I just don't care to share my name, and I thought I should acknowledge the fact that, though I don't comment, I still read your stuff.
Good start.
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