Hanky, Anyone?

My roommate uses a handkerchief. When he sneezes or needs to blow his nose, he rolls a little onto his hip to reach into his back pocket and pull out the folded white handkerchief. He then puts the hanky to his nose and blows several times with incredible force. And I feel like there must be something the hanky isn't catching that ends up on his lap. Maybe not, but I just don't like to think about it. Then he does the obligatory pick and roll, when he shoves his hanky-covered fingers into his nostrils and, in perfect symmetry, massages the inside of his nose in circles. Then comes the worst part. He takes two corners and shakes the snot-formed wrinkles out of the hanky. He folds it back up to conceal its use and rolls once more onto his hips and sllllliiiides the germ farm back into his pocket. 

This whole process is unbelievable, and though it only takes twenty or thirty seconds, it's the kind of gift that lasts a lifetime.