Marry Christmas!

In the spirit of Christmas, and because Mommacita refuses to post even on Christmas, I have decided to post a Christmas poem I wrote two years ago for a ward talent show. It's my present to you who still check this updated-once-a-year page, so feel free to insert your name in for mine and read it for your own ward talent show. Ho Ho Ho.

Marry Christmas

There is not a good reason why each Christmas season

must be so hard for the lonely.

And nothing’s unkinder than constant reminders

that I’m lacking my “one and only.”

The mistletoe’s mocking and the single red stocking

like a donkey I’m forced to carry.

But the worst of it all is the maddening call

for a Christmas that has to be Marry!

It’s very apparent this language is errant

in making the day about marriage.

But the thought to me came that I know who to blame,

and he rides in that big deer-pulled carriage.

He’s bearded and fat and wears a red hat.

(He loses big points for style.)

Yes, it’s clear that Kris Kringle began as a single

and probably was for a while.

That plump little elf only thought of himself

and of getting his lady in red.

He claimed saying “happy” just wasn’t that snappy--

that we should say merry instead.

But now I am knowing that, despite his Ho-hoing,

dear Kris had a secret concealed.

By repeating that phrase at a quickening pace,

his plot is clearly revealed.

Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas,

MerryChristmasMerryChristmasMerryChristmas,

Merrychristmasmerrychristmasmerrychristmas

Merry Kris mus marry kris Must Marry Kris!

Must Marry Kris?!

I believe he’s a criminal for such a subliminal

desperate attempt for a wife.

He has in the doing successfully ruined

all Christmas for my single life.

I loathe him! I hate him! I’ll ever berate him

when I see him with his bell at the mall.

He thinks he’s so slick cuz he used a cheap trick

to capture his beautiful doll.

But then again, maybe he isn’t that crazy

for taking up that sneaky cause.

It’s easy to see that there’s no Mrs. Me

but we know there’s a Mrs. Claus.

So I’ll follow his lead cuz I have the same need.

And it’s a need that I have a lotta.

I’ll update my wish list, forget about Christmas,

and wish you a Merry Limon-gotta!

Merry Limon-gotta, everyone!!