Feigning a Schoolboy

I just got asked to Preference. Over text. For tonight. If you aren't aware, Preference is a dance at BYU along the lines of Sadie Hawkins or MORP, where the girls ask the boys. I specifically use the terms boys and girls because I, although I still feel 16, am a man of 27. Isn't that too old to be going to a dance like this? Maybe not, but it seems like it will require more energy than I can spare on such a frivolous activity. In my ripened state I need to save my energy for more age-appropriate activities like lawn bowling, listening to NPR, and tatting lace.

And who is Sadie Hawkins anyway? The first girl to ask a boy out? That seems like a silly thing to gain such notoriety. Or maybe she was a real women's rights activist, in which case she deserves better recognition than a dance named after her. What mediocre achievements did she bring to pass that merit such a limp reward?

[Stopping to look her up on Wikipedia]

Turns out that Sadie Hawkins was a character of legend from the Li'l Abner comic strip who couldn't get married and so her father declared that there would be a footrace with all the town's bachelors. Whomever Sadie caught up to would have to marry her.

That seems appropriately mediocre.

So does this mean that I am at the tail end of the footrace? Isn't there someone who twisted an ankle? Were rollerblades allowed and I was unaware? Is this an insult to me?

I'm guessing not. I'm guessing she was just hoping that I would be kind enough to show her a fun time. I don't know if I am today. I'm 27. Most of the kids there will be freshman and sophomores. I don't know this girl very well, but it's not likely that anything will develop between us.

And, furthermore, she asked me over text! How many times have I had girls warn me never to ask someone out over text? Several. At least three. Double (decker) standard (with cheese)! How do I respond to this mediocre showing of interest? She likes me enough to chase me down in a footrace, but not enough for a simple phone call? She's lukewarm, and thus she must be spewed forth. Or maybe I'll go. But either way I need to respond within the next ten minutes.

What would you do?